The memory that haunts

Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled; old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget.

— Meredith (Grey’s Anatomy)

6 responses to “The memory that haunts

  1. Why would we want to forget? Why would we not want to remember something good that happened at that moment? Is it the person’s fault that some people are stuck in the past? Is it their fault that some people can’t move on?

    And what’s true forgiveness? Is it when we say that we have forgiven someone but when we see them the old memory resurface, the reason we were mad with them comes up and we get all bent out of shape again?

    We can forgive, and maybe not forget, but in remembering, our emotion would be different.

  2. Jetzy 이재우

    Well, I don’t know how else I’m gonna answer your question beside my own point of view because this is my story.

    Yeah there are some things we wouldn’t want to forget, but I want to forget those things, those happy moment back then that will only bring sadness to remember how it went, and fade, and disappear.

    We can forgive someone, it depend on us, but we wish we could forgive ourselves, and re-live again those memories and make a different, and hope it could happen in different way, better way.

    But I guess fate have a plan for everyone of us, that we should accept the reality, and things meant to be the way it happened, because of our choice, fate choose our destiny.

    Doesn’t mean I’m not moving on, I just reminiscing the past.

  3. If you didn’t do something wrong, then why do you need to forgive yourself? Perhaps that’s why some people don’t move on, because they believe that they were the reasons for the breakups. Something’s wrong with them; why would their boyfriends/girlfriends leave them?

    Some refuse to remember because perhaps they try to replay what happened, but wanting to add changes and if onlys in hope that they can come to an understanding of whys.

    I’m not saying deny the heartbreak, that’s foolish and perhaps dangerous.

    I don’t believe in fate.

    Some may say I don’t know what I’m talking about; I’ve never been there. Do we always have to experience everything to know it’s bad, to know what the other person is going through? That’s why music, good music plays an important role in my life. I can listen to a “love song” and have never been in love. But the song was that good that I “experienced” what love was. Or a breakup song and “experienced” what a breakup was.

    Experiences are important but so are other people realities. Maybe not on the same level.

    I’m happy that you’re moving on. Living’s an on going process. 🙂

    • Jetzy 이재우

      We are only human of course we did mistakes along the way, but its not about that.
      It just being not good enough, for someone else.

      We don’t need to do something wrong to have to forgive ourselves, because that way is the only way we understand that we are only human.

  4. So if you’re not good for someone else, then you’re not good enough for yourself?

    I agree, we don’t need to do something wrong to forgive ourselves, but the perception is there that “we’ve done something wrong”.

    Have a nice weekend. 🙂

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